Finding Balance: Being a New Mom doesn’t mean you can’t do Flamenco!

By Monica Perez-Laurin
November 23, 2007

This blog is by Monica, aka La Monica or La Gimpa. She responded to my first flamenco dance poster posted at Coquitlam Spa Lady and she was in my first inaugural flamenco class ever, taught in a little studio in Burnaby. She has gone on to become a flamenco soloist, integral member of our dance company Mozaico Flamenco Dance Theatre and is the first in our company to have a baby.

I’ve been dedicated to 8 years of Flamenco. I started going to classes 4 days a week, practicing in my kitchen, elevators, waiting in line at Save On Foods, and sitting in my seat at school and work (I could go on and on…). I am now a company professional dancer, a Mother and a wife.

As a single woman, it was easy to get up and go to the studio whenever I felt like it, pick up a new class, throw in a private lesson or just hang out and surf Flamenco all day. Then … I got married, and had my baby Isabela Bianca 2.5 years later. This can put a strain on those unplanned flamenco days and the 4 day a week classes are a thing of the past. Alas, we have to work to make a living, buy all those wonderful toys and never mind pay the mortgage! I’ve had to really think about how to balance and fit everything into my life. The responsibilities in my life are not small. A demanding career, husband and baby!!!

I debated having a child but as many people know, I’m not really a structured planning kinda person, so I just went and had one! Timing turned out alright. I was able to still dance 3 months pregnant in Mozaico Flamenco’s “Cafe de Chinitas” production 2006 and I just plain lucked out.

During my pregnancy, I danced until about 6 months. After class, I would waddle home with aching feet and back, plump into bed and wait until my feet would stop pounding. I knew then it was time to let go. At the time it was not sad because I had so much to look forward to. A new BABY!

Baby came and for the first 2 months she cried. No time to think about Flamenco. When the crying stopped, well I was back in the kitchen, elevator, Save On foods tapping my feet trying to remember escobillas I had learned prior. I could not get it off my mind. Ryan made a stage in the basement for me but I had to take a lot of breaks to tend to Isabela. I realized I needed to go back to flamenco but Isabela wouldn’t take a bottle so this was a problem.

Eventually, the desire was soooo strong (not to mention I was going insane at home!) I sucked it in and left her with Dad. I was sure Dad would and could figure it out. I left to spend three hours at the studio. Ryan was worried. I could see it in his face, he felt abandoned. (What if she starts crying and won’t stop? What if she gets hungry and she doesn’t take the bottle?)

Well, I had no mercy and left because I had just spent a long time getting Isabela to eat in 3 hour spurts so I could do this. I left with butterflies in my stomach and thought about how great it was that I was going to dance again. (I also blared the car stereo for the first time in a while!)

My first class was amazing.  Jumped right into Bulerias!  The first class made me feel so free, independent again, powerful, and reminded me how important it is to never forget about your passions.  When I was at the studio I felt like something was missing (could it have been a baby attached to me for the last 4 months?)  Class was awesome and it felt good to just focus on me and be selfish that way again.  Oh Oh!!!!  Milk is coming in!!!  Must be time to feed!  Still half an hour left in class!!!  I called to ask Ryan if she was crying to eat, but to my surprise he was bragging about how good things were and how she never cries with him.  Well!

Class was done and I was flying home in my mini.  I couldn’t get home soon enough to feed my little Isabela and see her smile.  It was like a force, a magnetic force calling me to get home.  Got home, picked her up, we smiled and I realized how much I missed her even for only a short time.

Now Daddy is a pro at looking after Isabela while I dance and good thing because I’m sure there will be many more hours he will be doing so.  (I haven’t told him this yet so shhhhhhh….)  I still rush home after every class eager to feed her and see her smile. I consider Flamenco Classes my time now and I use it as a well deserved break to only go back refreshed and reminded of how much I love my time with my baby and my husband.

It is very important for Isabela to see her mother dedicated to something as much as I am dedicated to my dance.  Seeing that passion in me will help her understand that she too should have her own passions when she is older and stick to them no matter what life throws at her.  There is always a way.  My daughter has made my passion for Flamenco even richer.  I feel powerful, and complete dancing and appreciate the time in the studio, and on stage.  Maybe one day we will break into Bulerias together.  I know now that I am dancing for her.